The Science of Love, Desire and Attachment

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In this episode, I discuss the psychology and biology of desire, love and attachment. I explain how childhood attachment types are thought to inform adult attachment styles to romantic partners, and I describe some of the major theories of human mate selection, relationships and infidelity. Additionally, I explore the neurobiology and proposed subconscious processing underlying desire, love and attachment, including the roles of empathy and “positive delusion”. I outline how self-awareness can shift one’s relationship attachment style towards securely bonded partnerships.  Finally, I describe specific tools and supplements that have been researched to increase libido and sex drive. Throughout the episode, I explain the science and key mechanisms underlying romantic love and outline tools for those seeking to find a strong, healthy relationship, or for those wanting to strengthen an existing relationship. 


For additional links and resources on Maca, Tongkat Ali and Tribulus, also see links in “Human Effect Matrix” at



  • 00:00:00 Desire, Love & Attachment
  • 00:02:59 Odor, Perceived Attractiveness & Birth Control
  • 00:08:04 Thesis, AG1 (Athletic Greens), InsideTracker
  • 00:14:13 Romance: Balancing Love & Desire
  • 00:19:00 Animal Studies, Vasopressin & Monogamy
  • 00:22:06 Strange Situation Task, Childhood Attachment Styles
  • 00:32:52 Adult Attachment Styles
  • 00:38:50 Secure Attachment
  • 00:41:23 Autonomic Arousal: The “See-Saw”
  • 00:50:39 Tool: Self-Awareness, Healthy Interdependence
  • 00:53:11 Neurobiology of Desire, Love & Attachment
  • 00:58:02 Empathy & Mating & the Autonomic Nervous System
  • 01:10:02 Positive Delusion, Touch
  • 01:15:20 Relationship Stability
  • 01:21:22 Selecting Mates, Recognition of Autonomic Tone
  • 01:38:28 Neural Mechanisms of Romantic Attachment
  • 01:47:43 Autonomic Coordination in Relationships
  • 01:56:13 Infidelity & Cheating
  • 02:08:56 “Chemistry”, Subconscious Processes
  • 02:12:44 Tools: Libido & Sex Drive
  • 02:20:20 Maca (Maca root)
  • 02:25:58 Tongkat Ali (Longjack)
  • 02:28:56 Tribulus terrestris
  • 02:33:14 Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify/Apple Reviews, Sponsors, Patreon, Instagram, Twitter, Thorne