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In this episode, I discuss the psychology and biology of desire, love and attachment. I explain how childhood attachment types are thought to inform adult attachment styles to romantic partners, and I describe some of the major theories of human mate selection, relationships and infidelity. Additionally, I explore the neurobiology and proposed subconscious processing underlying desire, love and attachment, including the roles of empathy and “positive delusion”. I outline how self-awareness can shift one’s relationship attachment style towards securely bonded partnerships. Finally, I describe specific tools and supplements that have been researched to increase libido and sex drive. Throughout the episode, I explain the science and key mechanisms underlying romantic love and outline tools for those seeking to find a strong, healthy relationship, or for those wanting to strengthen an existing relationship.
Articles
- Romantic love: an fMRI study of a neural mechanism for mate choice
- Relationship-specific Encoding of Social Touch in Somatosensory and Insular Cortice
- Investigating real-life emotions in romantic couples: a mobile EEG study
- Brain Knows Who Is on the Same Wavelength: Resting-State Connectivity Can Predict Compatibility of a Female–Male Relationship
- Manipulation of Self-Expansion Alters Responses to Attractive Alternative Partners
- Randomized Clinical Trial on the Use of PHYSTA Freeze-Dried Water Extract of Eurycoma longifolia for the Improvement of Quality of Life and Sexual Well-Being in Men
For additional links and resources on Maca, Tongkat Ali and Tribulus, also see links in “Human Effect Matrix” at examine.com.
Books
- Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love
- Right Brain Psychotherapy
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert
Other Links
- The Gottman Institute Love Lab: A Research-Based Approach to Relationships
- New York Times – The 36 Questions that Lead to Love (1/9/2015)
Timestamps
- 00:00:00 Desire, Love & Attachment
- 00:02:59 Odor, Perceived Attractiveness & Birth Control
- 00:08:04 Thesis, AG1 (Athletic Greens), InsideTracker
- 00:14:13 Romance: Balancing Love & Desire
- 00:19:00 Animal Studies, Vasopressin & Monogamy
- 00:22:06 Strange Situation Task, Childhood Attachment Styles
- 00:32:52 Adult Attachment Styles
- 00:38:50 Secure Attachment
- 00:41:23 Autonomic Arousal: The “See-Saw”
- 00:50:39 Tool: Self-Awareness, Healthy Interdependence
- 00:53:11 Neurobiology of Desire, Love & Attachment
- 00:58:02 Empathy & Mating & the Autonomic Nervous System
- 01:10:02 Positive Delusion, Touch
- 01:15:20 Relationship Stability
- 01:21:22 Selecting Mates, Recognition of Autonomic Tone
- 01:38:28 Neural Mechanisms of Romantic Attachment
- 01:47:43 Autonomic Coordination in Relationships
- 01:56:13 Infidelity & Cheating
- 02:08:56 “Chemistry”, Subconscious Processes
- 02:12:44 Tools: Libido & Sex Drive
- 02:20:20 Maca (Maca root)
- 02:25:58 Tongkat Ali (Longjack)
- 02:28:56 Tribulus terrestris
- 02:33:14 Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify/Apple Reviews, Sponsors, Patreon, Instagram, Twitter, Thorne