Bill Eddy: How to Deal With High Conflict People

In this episode, my guest is Bill Eddy, a lawyer, licensed therapist, professional mediator, and faculty member at the Pepperdine University School of Law. He specializes in identifying, reducing friction with, and disentangling from high-conflict individuals. We explain how high-conflict personalities differ from personality disorders and examine the cycles of blame and drama that cause persistent conflict in their relationships.

We discuss how to quickly recognize high-conflict individuals based on specific criteria and behaviors, helping listeners learn to spot their less obvious tactics. You’ll also learn how to disengage from them with minimal friction and understand the methods they use to draw people back in or keep conflict alive.

Additionally, we cover effective communication strategies for mediating situations involving high-conflict individuals, emphasizing empathy and problem-solving approaches. This episode equips listeners with tools to navigate conflict in various contexts, promoting resolutions that benefit all parties involved.

Articles

• Prevalence, Correlates, Disability, and Comorbidity of DSM-IV Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Results From the Wave 2 National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions (The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry)
• Disorder in the Court: Cluster B Personality Disorders in United States Case Law (Psychiatry, Psychology and Law)
• The New Elephant in the Room: Why All Professionals Need to Learn About Personality Disorders (Pepperdine Dispute Resolution Law Journal)

Books

• The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't
• Steve Jobs
• The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness
• The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement

Other Resources

• How to Spot High Conflict People (before it’s too late to avoid them)
• WEB Method
• New Ways for Families Online Class & Coaching
• Chimp Empire (Netflix documentary)
• The 4 “Fuhgeddaboudits” in High Conflict Mediation
• The CARS Method for Resolving High Conflict Situations
• Using the CARS Method to Deal with High Conflict People and Situations
• EAR Statements Can Calm Clients and Anyone, Especially in Today’s World
• How To Write A BIFF Response
• SLIC Solutions: Setting Limits and Imposing Consequences in 2 ½ Steps

Huberman Lab Episodes Mentioned

• Rick Rubin: Protocols to Access Creative Energy and Process
• Dr. Jonathan Haidt: How Smartphones & Social Media Impact Mental Health & the Realistic Solutions

People Mentioned

• Marsha Linehan: developer of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Washington
• Matthias Barker: psychotherapist, co-founder of the Trauma Institute